Yeah. Everything happens for a reason. And today the universe really kicked my ass. The worst, I kinda knew it was going to happen. So, did I manifest it? Dang, I need to be way more careful with my thoughts.
What happened. Well, basically I came to Berlin (5 long hours in a bus) yesterday, just to go to the South African embassy this morning to hand in my visa papers, and then return back home (another 5 hours). But something somehow didn’t feel right. In my mind I almost planned already what I would do if things would go wrong. Like they did. The actual problem was something I didn’t really see, even though I saw it. So maybe, my subconscious already knew more than me. Maybe it recognized the problem in my papers and created the intuition that made me feel a bit nervous. Or it’s the opposite. Maybe I didn’t trust enough, and manifested this situation by actually thinking of the worst case scenario.
I’m getting ahead of me. Back to the actual situation. Basically a visa letter had a mistake, it showed the wrong length of stay, thus I wouldn’t get the full length I intend to get. And I saw it. In fact I saw it the first day, like 3 weeks ago, when I received that letter. But somehow I thought it’s correct that way and that the was the only paper, of all the once I had to prepare, that would surly be correct.
And that caused failure. I was blind to it. Didn’t question it. I think this is a great example that is applicable to many other areas of our lives. Especially in areas of decision making. More often we have a firm believe of something that we just hold as absolute truth without even questioning it. What I’m trying to say is that we are constantly being biased by our subconscious which creates assumptions based on our experiences, backgrounds and education. And probably based on other things too. Sure is, there are things that we hold as truth without even questioning why.
This reminds me of something I think Bill Gates does: Unlearn at least one thing per year, that you’ve thought to be an absolute truth.
Okay I think I’m drifting a bit far here right now.
To take it back to what happened today. The last days, even weeks, when I prepared my papers for this visa I was very focused to get everything right and I thought about the smallest details. But never did I see the obvious. Still I had doubts, I felt something wasn’t right. And my intuition was right. If I would’ve listened better I might have questioned the letter, as I was wondering about it a few weeks back. But I didn’t. This letter came from homeland security in South Africa. It must be right. But dude. They’re also just humans. Question everything. Always.
So I think subconsciously I was aware that something was going to go wrong. Which created stress. I could feel it. And so I didn’t even book my return ticket from Berlin in advance. I wanted to wait to make sure that everything was alright. And I felt that it wasn’t. Which should’ve made me even more alert. Because usually I’m very good in changing my thought pattern away from “fear” and the resulting stress. I call it fear now, because it was some kind of fear. The fear that something wouldn’t work out.
I even thought that maybe I’m supposed to stay longer in Berlin. I had that in my mind so strongly a few weeks back. My whole Europe plan, even month back, included a longer stay in Berlin. And only recently I decided to skip that. But the universe thought differently it seems.
So all these thoughts and feelings and than this morning, the confirmation. Because of the mistake in the letter I couldn’t submit my application and now I have to wait until Thursday. Tomorrow is public holiday (German union day) and on Wednesdays they’re generally closed. Which now gives me 3 unplanned nights in Berlin.
This morning, when all this happened, when they closed the office and turned the lights off while I was still inside, when my hopes to get this done had been destroyed for that day, when I walked outside the embassy only to get into heavy rain, my mind was pulled into two directions. One that tried to feel pity and misery, like “everything goes wrong today” and the other one coming up immediately and much stronger saying “okay, bring it on universe! Nice try, but I know there’s a reason for this. Everything will be fine. Everything is fine!”. It was beautiful. I could really feel the power of my spirit. My conscious mind has become very powerful and in situations like this it’s just being tested. And it just makes me smile when I experience how hard the universe sometimes tries to derail me. And how powerful I am over myself, just by taking control over my reactions.
So yeah, one could argue that I had a pretty bad day. At least the first half of it. But I would argue that I had a great day nevertheless. I learned a big lesson and through these challenges I could experience the power of my mind. Of our all minds. And yes, I’m very happy and proud how myself. Life is our teacher and every time you think everything is against us, remember, everything happens for a reason. Everything. And you might only learn much later the reason, but you can already, in that very moment, acknowledge that there’s a lesson here, and that you gratefully take it.
Personally I really got to love “bad days”. I literally shout at the universe “Is that all you have?! Come on, I’m waiting. Bring it on!” and then I laugh and smile brightly 🙂
To round this up; I’ll be in Berlin for 3 more nights and that’s totally no problem. Partly because I was somehow prepared for that. And partly because I know there’s a reason that I’m here now. So I already started looking for it.
And guess what I found; There’s a “Silicon Allee” startup meet up tomorrow. That doesn’t look like a coincidence. And I don’t believe in coincidences (and luck) anyways. So maybe tomorrow I’ll find out why I’m still in Berlin.
With excitement and joy to feel, to be alive!
PS: The rest of the day was actually really nice. And I’m really grateful that I can stay comfortable with my friend Lala! Lesson: This could’ve easily destroyed my mood for the day, but just because of my attitude I didn’t let that happen. A day in bad mood is a lost day. And really, the one thing we don’t want to loose is time 🙂