Finally a place to breath. I was thinking about this for such a long time that it’s really a breath of fresh air coming along my why now. This blog will be just about me and my personal thoughts about life and our world.

I’m just about to head out to grab some food. I’m craving for something sweet like bakeries, which I’ve been avoiding since a long time. But once in a while you’ve to let go and just satisfy yourself. Just do it and get over it. And that’s what I’ll do.

Just as a side note. I’m currently in Chiang Mai in Thailand. It’s sunset time and I can literally watch the sky lighting up while writing these lines from my desk. Actually it’s not my desk. Almost nothing here belongs to me. It’s a friends place and its gorgeous. 6th floor surrounded by nature. I can see the mountains all along the horizon. I can see the sun rise on one side and set on the other. Though to be fair, the sunset happens behind the big mountain and I can only see the sky. Still, incredible.

I’m very grateful that I could spent the last 6 weeks here. Such a stunning place to live. Still I’m not happy. Even though I spent those last weeks figuring out what I want I’m writing without conclusion.

I feel lost. I’m living the good life, at least from the outside. But inside, I don’t. Something is missing. A goal to reach. I’m idle as I don’t count looking for the goal as actually being active. I feel almost useless to the world right now. What value do I add being here?

Yes I still manage my project in Kenya and did a lot of work for it but I feel it doesn’t lead me anywhere. Why do I feel like that?

At the same time I’m running out of money. Soon I’ll be broke. I know so many things, I’ve learned so many skills. Still, I’m not earning any money.

Why?

After weeks of thoughts I’m currently thinking it’s because I don’t want to start the wrong thing. I want to make money with something I enjoy. Something I can be proud of. Something I can present to the world. And something that actually changes the world.

I don’t want to make just money. I want to create impact.

But whom can I help if I’m broke?

I know I need to start walking towards something. Everything else will just fall into place. My mind is confused. I’m stuck even though I have all the options in the world.

Time to eat.

Talk soon,

Torsten