This is ridiculous. I’ve had a couple of great catch-ups with friends across the world during the last days. We talked about the last couple of months since our last contact, but also about where we are at and where we want to go.

Somehow this idea of making a million bucks stuck to me and I told everyone about it. The answers were all pretty much aligned. Financial freedom is a worthwhile goal to pursue. Of course, that’s nothing now. But here’s the struggle that I shared with all of them. I want to make the money doing something I can be proud of. Something I would be stoked to speak about in front of an audience. Selling shit online doesn’t really play into that. And that’s where I’m stuck. For some reason a lot of ecommerce stuff popped up on my screen during the last days and I kept digging through it. People making shit loads of money, I mean 8 and 9 figures, right now, doing a mix of Shopify, Facebook ads and dropshipping from China or locally. I mean, what the fuck. It drives me nuts because I know exactly what they are doing. I can do this almost asleep. Setting up the systems, testing products until one sticks, scaling the shit out of it and making thousands and hundreds of thousands per month, is not hard!

And that’s where I’m stuck. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be aligned with my values. And do things with integrity. Selling random shit from China just for the sake of selling it, just doesn’t feel right. Especially as it’s all just about the right marketing. It’s biasing the customers to feel the artificial urgency,  so that they buy shit they didn’t even knew they need.

Fuck, putting it this way it really doesn’t feel right.

But there’s the other side of the coin. What if I would promise 90% of this million bucks for a good cause. Does doing good balance doing bad? Nope. I just answered it myself. With exceptions I guess. Imagine you need the money to save someones life. Would it then be right to do something without integrity, to get the money to safe that life? Ish, that’s a tough one. It comes down to what’s right morally and what’s right ethically.

Like is it right to give up on one life, to safe two? Morally wrong, ethically right.

Man, this whole situation really challenges my core values. Though it actually doesn’t because I know the answers already. I’m not going to do this shit. I can make more money than all of them, doing good for the world. It might be harder, might take longer, but it’s the journey that matters, not the goal.

I feel weird in my heart right now. Almost sad. I’m not sure where this comes from now. What do I feel sad about? That I don’t allow myself to proof that I can do what these other dudes can do? Never compare yourself to others. The only person you should compare yourself to, is yourself. Always be a bit better than the day before.

Look at your life, your relationships, your achievements. You’re truly living. You are alive with every cell in your body. You have so much more than all their money will ever buy them. You are not missing out on the greatest opportunity to make quick millions in ecommerce. You are just better than that.

But imagine what I could do with all that money. Imagine the change I could create. Yes, and that’s why you will make this money anyways. The universe knows that it’ll do great good in your hands. You know it. And you know you will make it. Ecommerce might just seem like a clear and easy way to reach your goal. And the alternative way might seem blurry. It’s the unknown that creates fear in you. And that pushes you to the known, even though it’s not the right thing to do.

Let go of these fears. Trust yourself. You know you can do it. You know you will. The way will unfold. No fear, no worries. Remember how you’ve lived your life during the last 5 years. Remember how everything just fell into place when it was needed. Remember that everything happens for a reason. And the reason is you. You create, you decide. You are the architect. Never forget the power that lies within you. Within everyone of us.

This conversation was held with myself, but I hope it can help others to figure themselves out. I feel its’ worth sharing. It might plant a seed in you.

With loVe,

Torsten